Having Difficult Conversations in the Workplace

Having a difficult conversation with someone is just that – difficult. When behavioral or performance issues arise at work, we must learn how to address them in a way that fosters the greatest chance for success (success being the outcome we hope to achieve). Whether you are a leader or an individual contributor, building this skill is crucial if you want to improve communication, teamwork, and performance results in the workplace.

Read the story below about Maggie (direct report) and Rhena (supervisor). There are behavioral concerns that have come up with Maggie that Rhena needs to address. Share your feedback on how the conversation went and what could have been improved to achieve a better outcome.

Maggie is building her career as a Licensed Practical Nurse (LPN) at ABC Hospital in the Chicagoland area. She is committed to doing a wonderful job as an employee. She is dependable and demonstrates authentic concern for patients in her care. She gets positive feedback consistently from patients and their families about how comfortable she makes them feel during their hospital stay. She uses her lunch time most days reading to patients, playing games with them, and occasionally singing to patients having a particularly distressing day due to physical pain in their body. Maggie works in the oncology department of her hospital.

Maggie builds trust with her patients, so much so that they share information with her about other nurses on staff (two in particular) that have not taken as great care of them as she does. The information shared was that the nurses are rude and take too long to respond after they (the patients) press the call button. Hearing the feedback angers Maggie, but she does not report the incidents because she does not want to get anyone into trouble. She also does not address the issues directly with her peers because she does not know how to have the conversation without offending them and saying the wrong things. Her final reason for keeping silent is because her patients expressed fear about what the nurses might do to them if their concerns are reported. Maggie understands that not sharing this information is in violation of hospital standards, but because of these reasons she keeps silent and chooses instead to distance herself from the two peers implicated by the patients she spoke with. As a result, Maggie only talks to these peers when necessary, outside of saying good morning and good night at the end of her shift.

One of the people Maggie avoids is Lena, who has noticed the behavioral changes towards her. Rather than talk to Maggie about it, she reported her concerns directly to the Nurse Supervisor, Rhena. She also shared other observations with Rhena about how Maggie has been treating Jerry lately (Jerry is the other peer Maggie no longer engages with). Rhena met with Jerry to gain insights on his working relationship with Maggie, and his feedback was almost identical to Lena’s.

Rhena is a no-nonsense leader who wants things done efficiently and respectfully on her floor. After hearing the feedback about Maggie’s behavior, Rhena called her into a meeting the next day and got directly into the issue.

Rhena shared that she received feedback about how Maggie has been dismissive towards her peers lately. Maggie looked at her, trying to determine how she should respond, but before she could speak Rhena stated, “Maggie, our institution has no place for these kinds of behaviors. If you are unhappy here, we can look into transferring you to another floor, but it is tough enough for the team being short staffed, and with patient hospitalization rising, the last thing the team needs is these kinds of behaviors towards them. I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but this behavior must stop immediately!” Maggie, shocked by her leader’s comments, remained silent. Rhena then closed the meeting by saying she would follow up with Maggie in two weeks to see how things were going, asked if she had any questions about the expectations of her behavior moving forward, and after Maggie stated she understood, Rhena ended the meeting. Maggie walked away from the discussion uncertain if she should start looking for another job inside or outside the hospital.

Now that you have read the story about Maggie and Rhena, I want to hear from you. Share your thoughts on alternative ways Rhena could have addressed this issue with Maggie. If you feel comfortable, post it so others can chime in. If not, send me a private email message. Either way, I want to hear from you.

Sabrina Smith is the Founder & CEO of PROGENY1, LLC, a leadership development, training, and coaching company. If you are looking for actionable insights to develop professionally and personally, subscribe to our Newsletter. Send us an email and in the subject line write –Subscribe and we will add you to our mailing list (and yes, it’s free). You will not receive more than four articles per month.

If you want to learn how PROGENY1, LLC can partner with your organization to propel your teams performance results, let's chat. Email us at: Sabrina@Progeny1.Training.