Your Leadership Brand: Infomercial or Intentional? - Part 2
Your Leadership Brand:
Infomercial or Intentional? - Part 2
In Part 1, we explored the difference between advertising a leadership brand and intentionally living it. I promised we would look more closely at how leadership brands are built through the everyday moments people experience with us.
Those moments matter most when our leadership is tested.
It may be easy to describe ourselves as open, caring, fair, and committed to helping people succeed. The greater challenge is whether those qualities remain visible when someone disagrees with us or makes a mistake.
There is also another layer we do not always discuss: the difference between what we do externally and what we honestly think and feel internally.
Doing the right thing matters, so leaders should manage their reactions and avoid placing every emotion onto the people they lead. However, if our outward behavior says one thing while our internal response is consistently at war with it, there is still a growth gap that deserves attention.
Can People Disagree With You?
Imagine that you have told your team, “I want honest feedback. You can disagree with me.” Then, during a meeting, an employee challenges your idea.
Externally, you may remain calm, thank the employee, and allow the conversation to continue. Internally, you may feel offended, threatened, embarrassed, or irritated. You might immediately conclude that the person is being difficult or does not respect your authority.
It is valuable that you did not react negatively. That demonstrates self-control. But if you never examine the internal response, it may eventually appear in your tone, decisions, body language, or future interactions with that employee.
Be honest with yourself:
What did I feel when that person disagreed with me?
What did I believe their disagreement meant?
Was I genuinely open, or was I performing the behavior I thought a good leader should display?
If you discover a gap, choose one action for the next disagreement. Listen fully before deciding what it means. Ask a question to ensure you understand the person’s perspective. Then consider whether the feedback could strengthen your decision.
The goal is not to agree with every opinion. It is to become a leader who can genuinely consider a different perspective without treating disagreement as a personal offense.
What Happens When Someone Makes a Mistake?
You may say that mistakes are part of learning, but what happens internally when one occurs? Do you immediately question the employee’s competence or commitment? Do you become frustrated because the mistake creates additional work?
You may still say the right things externally. But if your internal response causes you to label the person, withdraw future opportunities, or repeatedly use the mistake against them, employees will eventually discover what your leadership really permits.
Ask yourself:
Is my reaction based only on what happened, or have I made a broader judgment about the person?
Would I apply the same standard to myself?
Does my response help the employee learn, take accountability, and improve?
When a mistake occurs, focus on what happened, what needs to be corrected, and what can be learned. Agree on the action the employee will take moving forward. Afterward, examine whether your continued treatment of that person aligns with what you claim to value.
Closing the Internal and External Gap
“Fake it until you make it” can become tricky in leadership. Sometimes we must choose the right behavior before our feelings have caught up. That is not necessarily inauthentic. It can represent maturity, discipline, and a commitment to growth.
The danger occurs when we perform the right behavior but never address the thinking underneath it.
After one challenging interaction this week:
Write down what you honestly thought and felt.
Record what you said and did.
Identify where your internal and external responses aligned or conflicted.
Choose one action that will help you respond more authentically next time.
Leadership growth does not require us to express every unfiltered thought. It requires us to examine the thoughts that could eventually work against the leader we intend to become.
Our true character has a way of showing up, especially under pressure. When our values, internal mindset, and outward behaviors become more aligned, people are less likely to experience a stunt double. They experience the leader we advertised, intentionally lived out in the moments that matter.
In Part 3, we will examine how meaningful feedback can help determine whether the leadership brand we intend to build matches what other people actually experience.
Comments